Thursday, August 28, 2008


It's always amazes me when I look back upon the years and realize the number of people who have drifted in and out of my life. It is with equal amazement that I reflect upon the relationships themselves. There are some positively incredible people out there with whom I forged great connections only to find that those associations waned with the passage of time. In some cases, friends moved to other cities to raise families; in some instances ideologic differences were simply too much to overcome; in still other situations, misunderstandings and miscommunications were the source of a falling out. There are also, I readily admit, times when I was too self-absorbed, for whatever reason, to reach beyond myself to do "the right thing" and feed a friendship, and to those people who I have known and lost I owe a great apology. The relationships that haunt me most, however, are those in which I whole-heartedly indulged, only to be sucked dry emotionally. These are the "friends" who came into my life and used me to feed their own neurotic need to share the high drama that surrounds them. Those are the hurtful ones--those are the ones that stick.

I need at this point in my life to weed those people out of my life. I don't have the energy or the emotional stamina to sustain them--nor do I particularly want to. With that said, I am refocusing my attention to those in my life who truly matter. My husband has taught me that time is short--that loving and being loved is it's own reward--that a best friend can take you through your darkest hour. Cheryl, you let me back into your life after I fell far short of being the friend you needed--when you needed one most. I can't thank you enough. You were always a woman of great character, and I am honored to count you among my true friends. Dana, you've been there for me throughout the years and never once have you turned your back. You hugged me when I cried, listened to me without judging and continue to be one of the most incredible women I think I know. I can't imagine my life without you as my friend. Dina, the things we've been through, apart and together, allow us to share a bond of friendship that is unmistakeably special. You gave me the strength, through your own experiences, to do what I needed to do to be happy, and for that I will always be eternally grateful. You know me better than I think I sometimes know myself, and you love me anyway. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Nina, you have stood by me through some pretty major drama, both in our professional and personal lives. Your strength in the face of adversity continues to inspire me and motivate me to be a better person. Thank you for your friendship--it means the world to me. Jamie, you gave me the confidence I needed to continue long after I would have given up. You made me feel like I had made a difference, and you wouldn't let me feel sorry for myself. I wouldn't still be teaching if it weren't for you. I love the humor you bring to my life, and the amazing talent you possess. Laurie, my sister, my friend. It never mattered how badly I screwed things up or how many mean things I said, you were always there, ready to take me back, patch me up and set me on my feet again. We are so very different, and yet you accept me for who I am and continue to support me--I don't tell you enough how much I love you. Mom, it goes without saying that I consider you a friend--what you've done for me this past year has gone above and beyond the call of parenthood. I hope you know what a wonderful woman you are--and how much I learned from you about not only being a mom but being a woman.

There are many others out there whom I consider friends--folks who invite us to parties, who call to share news (both good and bad), who laugh and cry with me. Each of them is special and all are important in my life.

Perhaps the person who has changed my life the most, however, is my husband. Michael, you came to me in times of uncertainty and offered your friendship. Throughout the past year you've stood beside me even when the going got tough--very tough. When our friendship turned to love, I knew I had the best of everything--a best friend, an intimate lover, and a soul mate for life. I look at you everyday and thank whatever gods may be for bringing us together. I love you so much.

And so, the point of this post? To let those who have set out to intentionally hurt me know that my life is rich beyond words--rich with friends who have stood by me; to let those whom I love and admire know just how important they are; to say all the things we sometimes wait to say until it's far too late.

1 comment:

boodafli said...

way to play on my post partum heartstrings. :) now i'm all snuffly. and just think. cuz of you, there are two future ee cummings fans in tha drrty souf. so, the difference you made is like, multi-generational. whoa.